


Nationbound

by altertalian_doodle



Series: Hetastuck [3]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers, Hetastuck - Fandom
Genre: F/M, I'll update all the tags as this goes along, Interspecies Relationship(s), M/M, Multi, Reeaaalll sloow, Slow Burn, hetastuck, homestuck quadrants, second person shenanigans
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-31
Updated: 2018-01-01
Packaged: 2019-02-25 19:56:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13220085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/altertalian_doodle/pseuds/altertalian_doodle
Summary: A boy and his friends play a sadistic video game.They get handed the task of recreating the universe, people won't stay dead, and the trolls are back at it again.Oh, and through some weird genetic combination stuff, some of them are related.





	1. Showtime

**Author's Note:**

> Let's do this, the epic of trash

You are currently writing this in the center of a meteor, barreling towards a different session at you-don't-even-fucking-know kilometers per hour.

But before you speak of this meteor and the shenanigans you partake in, you believe you should introduce yourself, and maybe explain how you got here. Perhaps why the universe is royally fucked and what you had to do with it.

You don’t know where to start. The Scratch? The prototyping of Mint Bunny? The Decolonizing? Maybe you should start at the root of it all, a few hours before he started the game and ended the world.

Yes, that sounds right.

⇒ Two years ago...

A young man lies on the floor of his bedroom, for some reason that we do not know of at the moment.

What is his name?

⇒ Enter name

Communist Potato Bastard

No.

Your name is Ivan Braginsky. You are rather proficient in the art of hacking, and your interests include memes, history and the coding language ~ATH. You are god of all the memes. ALL OF THEM. It’s one of the things that help you take your mind off your night terrors, dreams of a gloomy purple moon, whispers from Ancient gods and visions of Doom.

Anyways, back to the thing at hand. It is your friend’s fifteenth birthday. You are lying on your bedroom floor because said friend is being an idiot.

⇒ Get up

You don’t get up because you lack the motivation to do so. You do drag yourself over to your computer, which is beeping from your friend’s constant pestering.

⇒ Reply

You open up Hetachum.

\-- heroicParsimony [HP] began pestering cyberpunkMuscovite [CM] at 10:24--

HP: dude

HP: bro

HP: u there

CM: Yeah im here

CM: What

HP: do u have the beta

CM: Yeah two copies

CM: Im not planning on playing it though

HP: dont have my copy yet

CM: I dont know check the mail

HP: k

\-- heroicParsimony [HP] ceased pestering cyberpunkMuscovite [CM]--

⇒ Examine room

You have a poster of the infamous Vladimir Putin riding on a bear, along with some memes that you stuck on the wall. On your drawer you have Homestuck volume one and two. You keep random stuff in your closet, including an old military overcoat that belonged to your ex-KGB grandfather.

⇒ Retrieve vodka 

That’s racist! Just because you’re an American born Russian doesn’t mean you drink vodka! You aren’t old enough anyway! Jegus!

⇒ Examine Homestuck volume one and two

You hold them with a sort of quiet reverence. The great tale of John Egbert and his friends, of Karkat Vantas and the trolls, of Lord English and Bec Noir, Wayward Vagabond and Peregrine Mendicant, Dirk Strider, Jane Crocker, Aranea, Kankri, Nic Cage...

Truly a work of art. You weep at the beauty. (Not really)

And Dave Strider. The god of sick beats, and so. Fucking. Awesome. You aspire to reach his level of irony. Of memeingness.

⇒ Examine  ~ATH book

The book is probably heavy enough to kill someone. But then again, if you master the language you might just kill everyone...

… You should probably check on HP, before you manage to code up a plague or something.

\-- cyberpunkMuscovite [CM] began pestering heroicParsimony [HP]--

CM: You got it?

CM: Say yes

CM: But play with SR or something

CM: Hes been annoying me about it all day

CM: Im kind of embarrassed for him

HP: lol sry

HP: thats pretty understandable tho

HP: youre a pretty attractive guy

HP: i mean im attracted to you and im like no homo and that shit

HP: haha jk

HP: but nah

HP: havent checked the mail yet

HP: my bros downstairs

HP: hell probs make me try his pot pancakes

⇒ Be the other guy

A totally awesome dude stands in the middle of his room. What is his name?

⇒ Enter name

Incompetent Fatass

Yeah, no.

Your name is Alfred F. Jones, and it is your 15th birthday. Your interests include obscure animes such as Hetalia: Axis Powers and superhero franchises such as DC and Marvel. You fucking love horror stuff, though you kind of make an embarrassment of yourself because you are easily scared.

 You have tried coding, but you suck pretty bad at it, so you kind of gave up. It doesn’t matter. Even though you LOVE gaming, you don’t have to dabble in freaky code, like Ivan.

In other news, you are really excited for a new game, the SGLOBE Beta… Which is currently in the mailbox. Most likely.

⇒ Examine room

You have many posters of Hetalia: Axis Powers, along with others such as Kuragehime and Psycho-Pass. Your collection of DC and Marvel comics are on your bookshelf.  On your desk is your laptop. It seems like your chum is trying to talk to you.

You open up a conversation which we already know about.

\-- cyberpunkMuscovite [CM] began pestering heroicParsimony [HP]--

⇒ Go downstairs

Your bro is downstairs, most likely making pot pancakes. You don’t know why he adds drugs to his food, or why he insists that you try some. You exit your room, but not before Captchaloguing your baseball bat. It won’t hurt to be safe.

Your Colt revolver is already allocated to your Strife Specibus, though.

The hallway bears pictures of random hockey players and famous people in American history. Jesus god those are annoying. In the living room is a rather large box and a notecard, which reeks of brotherly cannabis.

‘Happy birthday, Al. I’m so proud of you’

You open the box. It’s a portrait of Alexander Hamilton.

Why.

But no time to grieve that. Your bro’s walking out of the kitchen with those infamous pot pancakes.

You run out the door to your mailbox.

⇒ Get the mail

There’s a tire swing in the front yard, which kind of fell out of use over the years. You can’t reminisce about that now. There’s a game you gotta play and some packages you gotta receive.

You open the mailbox. It’s empty… Bro probably has the mail… Shit…

⇒ Actually get the mail

You sneak over to the kitchen, where the mail… Most definitely is, along with a purple package. Maybe you can just creep over and… Nevermind.

Bro saw you.

⇒ STRIFE!!

Alfred, there’s no use adjourning pot pancakes.

Alfred, he isn’t even making breakfast food.

Alfred, it’s cake. Duncan Hines or some shit. And he’s completely sober right now.

Well, thanks bro, you guess. You balance a cake on one hand, the mail on the other, and run to your room.

⇒ Hell yeah

The beta’s here, along with Ivan’s package. Hold up, you need something to open it… Nah. You tear through the cardboard. Sorry dude. Love the packing job, but gotta go see what you got.

Whatever inside smells suspiciously like sweat. Sweat, greatness, and theatre, conditioned under the glaring lights of the Tokyo and Osaka stage. It looks like the bomber jacket Ryuko Isogai wore for his role as APH America, in the first Hetalia musical. And according to the Certificate of Authenticity, IT’S THE VERY SAME ONE.

Hell. Fucking. Yessssss.

\-- heroicParsimony [HP] began pestering cyberpunkMuscovite [CM]--

HP: bro

HP: the jacket

HP: howd u get it

HP: its fuckin amazin

CM: You better like it

CM: Ryuko is the meme

CM: Tm symbol included

HP: bro

HP: this is

HP: so

HP: fuckin

HP: lit

HP: holy shit

HP: i love you

HP: no homo tho

CM: You got the game?

HP: yeah i had 2 strife bro

HP: i got cake outta it tho

HP: so im ok

CM: Yeah whatever

\-- cyberpunkMuscovite [CM] ceased pestering heroicParsimony [HP]--

Another chum of yours seems to be pestering you

\-- socialistRicelord [SR] started pestering heroicParsimony [HP]--

SR: do you have the game yet??

SR: i’m hoping.

SR: and waiting.

SR: and where the hell are you?

HP: hey bro

HP: ivan got me the bomber jacket

HP: the one from hetalia singin in the world

HP: soooo coooolllll

SR: do you have the beta?

HP: yep i got it

HP: also he wnts u 2 stop screwing with him

SR: i can’t help it

SR: he’s so fun to mess with, not to mention that HE STILL OWES ME 20 BUCKS!!!!!!!

HP: lol

SR: did you put the disc in yet?

HP: ye

⇒  Deploy Cruxtruder

SR: it seems that there’s some free stuff that’s probably important to the game.

HP: ye what

SR: some weird machinery and a captchalogue card.

SR: i’ll deploy one somewhere.

HP: k

You drag the Cruxtruder from the Phernalia Registry over to a nice groove you found in the living room. It makes a loud thumping noise.

HP: what was that??

SR: the cruxtruder. go check it out.

As Alfred runs off to go look at it, you proceed to deploy the Totem Lathe and the Alchemiter, whatever the hell those are used for.

HP: bro

HP: theres a clock thing in the crux whatever

HP: its counting down from 10:24

SR: maybe you should be concerned about it?

SR: do you know what the countdowns for?

HP: nah

SR: okay.

SR: i also deployed the alchemiter and the totem lathe.

HP: whats that

SR: you’re the client player.

SR: you have to figure that stuff out.

HP: bluh ok

⇒ Examine Cruxtruder

It looks really heavy. When you turn the wheely thing, it looks like something’s trying to get out. You take out your laptop and pester SR about it.

HP: bro can u get the cap off

SR: i can throw something heavy at it.

HP: then do that

SR: watch out

A bust of George Washington flies over your head and hits the cap thing of the Cruxtruder, before busting through the front door.

HP: dude

HP: like i have no probs against u puttin this thing in front of the door

HP: but u just like

HP: can u move it over

HP: imma see how i can patch up the door

SR: sorry, it fit nicely in that little groove. i didn’t know it was a door.

SR: so yeah.

⇒ Examine glowy thing

Some weird little blue ball of light popped out of the cruxtruder. You kind of just stare at it.

HP: bro what is this little blue ball thing

SR: hold on, i’m looking at the walkthroughs.

SR: apparently it’s called a kernelsprite. you have to prototype it.

HP: how

SR: throw something at it.

HP: bluh k

You pick up the portrait of Alexander Hamilton and throw it at the kernelsprite thing. It becomes Hamiltonsprite. Did you mention how much you hate the musical? You can’t rap for shit, but there’s so many fans it’s getting annoying.

SR: you still need to prototype it with something else.

HP: meh ill find some stuff later

You turn the wheely thing on the Cruxtruder again. It spits out a Cruxite Totem.

The clock is at 4:13. You’re pretty sure there’s some Homestuckian importance to that, but you should probably Alchemize some Cruxite first, however that’s done.


	2. Hero of Breath: Enter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm basically cut and drying this from the huge-ass block I wrote for Camp Hellnowrimo. Someday, in the future, I will have to take a Gigapause

⇒ Alchemize cruxite

You go up to the roof. Hamiltonsprite follows you.

Why the hell did SR put the Alchemiter there? Sure, it’s accessible, and you keep your telescope up there, but seriously?

According to the Alchemiter the Cruxite will make three units of Perfectly Generic Objects, whatever the hell that is. You Alchemize it anyways.

SR: we’re kind of running low on build grist.

HP: bro whatd u do with it?

SR: i expanded the house, and accidentally tore the bathtub out of the floor.

HP: dude let me do that youre messing up my house!!!

SR: i have the server player copy. you’re the client player. you should have your server copy somewhere.

HP: i only got 1 disc from the mail

Bluh. There doesn’t seem to be much use for the Perfectly Generic Objects, so you leave them on the Alchemiter platform thing.

You see a weird streaky thing in the late morning sky. It looks suspiciously like a comet or something.

⇒ Look at streaky thing through telescope.

You have an interest in space, so of course you have a telescope. When you look through it, the streaky thing appears to be a meteor.

On further inspection, many meteors, which seem to be heading towards you and your neighborhood.

HP: bro

HP: i think i know wat the countdowns for

SR: what?

HP: there are meteors in the sky

HP: i think theyre heading towards my house

HP: what does the clock say

SR: 2:35.

HP: k

HP: is there any more free stuff in the phernalia thing

SR: a punched card.

SR: side thing, what’s your modus?

HP: i used to use hashmap

HP: but u know i kinda suck at coding ~ATH and stuff so it was rly weird

HP: now im using this morgan freeman one

HP: ivan got it 4 my bday last year

SR: whatever.

SR: i’m deleting the perfectly generic objects, we’re seriously running low on build grist.

HP: k

While SR deletes the Perfectly Generic Objects, you go check the countdown. 1:03.

You’re about to go flip your shit or something, but another chum is pestering you.

\-- knightofEyebrows [KE] started pestering heroicParsimony [HP] at 11.26—

KE: Alfred, did you get my package yet? It should have arrived by now.

HP: nah i didnt

Fuck. Your bro took the mail, but you only got what he put in the kitchen. So the rest of is on him… Or maybe in his car…

HP: i think i know where it is tho

HP: hold on

\-- heroicParsimony [HP] ceased pestering knightofEyebrows [KE] at 11.26--

You go downstairs to look for your bro.

SR: the countdown’s at 0:40.

SR: go check the sky.

You peek through the window. You see meteors flying off in the distance.

HP: wat do i do

SR: go alchemize the pre-punched card. i don’t think you used the totem lathe yet.

Nevermind. You’ll look for Bro later.

You go get the cruxite from the Alchemiter and stick in in the Totem Lathe, before inserting the pre punched card. You see Bro currently pondering the Cruxtruder blocking the front door. He never knew you were hard at work saving his ass. Both of your asses, actually.

SR: 0:20.

HP: dude thats not helpin

You run up to the Alchemiter and stick the cruxite on the side platform. Hamiltonsprite seems pretty freaked out now.

The Alchemiter produces a tree, and from it drops down a cruxite lock. You think you’re supposed… Pick it? But there’s a meteor heading towards you and you’re starting to feel the heat? And how do you pick locks?

SR: 0:10.

SR THAT’S NOT HELPING!

SR: pick the lock.

HP: what???? how????

SR: or break it. you have a gun, right?

SR: 0:05.

You hold your revolver up to the keyhole. Spin the cylinder, shoot a bullet through the lock, watch the shackle swing loose. Light streams out from it, surrounding you, and then your house.

SR: 0:00

⇒ Hours in the past, but not enough to make a meme out of…

What do you mean not enough to make a meme out of? Anything can be a meme, once the ironic factor is manipulated!

You are now Ivan Braginsky, attempting to mollify a rather persistent chum who wants to play a game with you.

\-- socialistRicelord [SR] started pestering cyberpunkMuscovite [CM]--

SR: you know, in many cultures refusing a friend is extremely rude.

CM: Oh my gog

CM: Look weve been over this

CM: Go play with alfred if youre so psyched about it

SR: yeah i know that.

SR: but he didn’t receive his copy yet.

CM: Jegus okay look

CM: Ill go talk to him about it

CM: If it ever comes to the point that you guys lives depend on me playing ill do it

CM: Otherwise hell no

CM: Happy??

SR: psyched.

\-- socialistRicelord [SR] ceased pestering cyberpunkMuscovite [CM] at 10:07--

⇒  Inspect copy of SGLOBE

Your copy of SGLOBE sits beside your printer/scanner. As you mentioned before, you have two copies. Well, one is yours, the other is your sisters. There is no way you are playing this, though.

⇒  Go look for vodka

Stop being so racist! Jegus!

There is no vodka in your closet, but you did find a bottle of imported rhubarb Kompot. Hell yeah, you love this stuff. You captchalogue it for later.

Your modus is Russian Roulette, which you got from Alfred for your birthday a few years ago. It’s hard to retrieve your stuff unharmed, but you put up with it because it’s so badass.

⇒ Allocate AK-47 to Strife Specibus

The only AK-47 in the house belongs to your sister, who is actually licensed to carry it! But no matter, you defend yourself well enough with your odd assortment of Specibi.

⇒ Allocate pipekind to Specibus

New York Suburbia is still pretty dangerous, with those random Bratva people keeping tabs on you. Of course you have your pipe in your Specibus! Just in case the pipe is too serial killer-esque, you also have your fistkind.

⇒ Play Dance of Thorns on your violin

Dance of Thorns is, hands down, the best Homestuck song in human history. It’s so awesome that you don’t even know the music score. You captchalogue your violin anyway. It takes up the slot next to your Kompot and your IPhone.

⇒ Explore your house

Why would you do that? Your sister is probably downstairs, and even though she’s awesome and you like talking to her, you have no time to waste. You’re a busy man, sending all those memes to the impoverished Russians.

⇒ Hack into the Russian government database

You have no reason to do that! But you do need to go annoy Alfred about his beta copy.

\-- cyberpunkMuscovite [CM] began pestering heroicParsimony [HP]--

⇒

You try retrieving your violin. Instead, your modus spits out your bottle of Kompot, which spills onto your printer/scanner and your SGLOBE discs.

Oh gog no not your scanner no no no please gog no.

⇒ Get a towel or something!

There’s no time to get a towel! This is your scanner you’re talking about!

You take off your sweatshirt to dry off the stuff. You should probably change anyway, it’s the middle of the summer.

You’re pretty sure the scanner’s ok, but you open the window to air dry the disc envelopes.

⇒ Calm down

A mouse scampers out of a hole in the corner of your room. You named him Dmitri and he’s a total asshole. He’s starting to chew on the disc sleeve.

You spin your Sylladex. You keep some cheese in there for specifically this reason.

Please let it be the cheese. You really need it right now. Even though you swore you would never play it, you paid some good money for the Beta. And now you owe SR twenty dollars because of it. He’s pissed at you about that, you can tell.

It spits out your pipe, which knocks Dmitri and the discs out the window. Gogdammit.

You manage to catch your pipe, but the mouse falls ten feet to his death on the roof of some person’s balcony, way out of reach. Along with your copy of the Beta.

Nobody can know about this. This is so embarrassing. Nobody.

Now that you think about it though, you should probably change your modus. None of this stuff would have happened if you didn’t use Roulette.

⇒ Change Modus

You examine your choices. There’s the Tetris fetch modus, which would be pretty useful since you’re great at Tetris. Or...

You have a Dank Modus, which for some reason only captchalogues items in meme form. A bit annoying, but so awesome.

⇒ Don’t switch to Dank Modus

You should switch to Dank Modus.

⇒ No

You really should.

⇒ DO NOT

HELL YEAH DANK MEMES.

⇒ NO

DANK.

MEMES.

⇒ NOOOOOO

But the sensible side of you wins out. You switch to the Tetris Fetch Modus.

⇒ Alfred: Explore

You open your eyes. The house is still intact, and you’re alive, so that’s pretty good. Though…

⇒ Look down

You are apparently in the Land of Tempests and Night, whatever the hell that is. Your house is on a rather large spire, a few hundred meters up from the rest of the land.

Your eyesight isn’t that good, and you have no idea what gonna be down there, but there is a whole lot of night down there.

⇒ Check on Hamiltonsprite

Hamiltonsprite seems to have calmed down… And HOLY JESUS WHO’S THERE?!

Something’s knocking on the trapdoor. Please let it be Bro.

Please let it be Bro.

⇒ Open trapdoor

You descend the ladder. There’s a trail of black liquid on the ground.

This feels like one of those shitty horror movies you definitely are not scared of.

HP: sr??

HP: u there

HP: im fine

SR: ok that’s good.

SR: how is it?

HP: theres something in my house

HP: did u read the walkthrough

SR: for some reason the walkthrough ends at the meteor part, which sort of makes sense.

SR: this is a pretty new game.

SR: i saw it on the news, though. a lot of meteors have been falling lately; your neighborhood got the most so far.

SR: and don’t expect me for some time, there’s a pretty big storm where i live.

HP: so i have 2 figure it out by myself???

SR: sorry.

SR: but now that i think about it, maybe i should make a walkthrough.

⇒ Go find your bro

Last time you saw your bro, he was in the kitchen. You take out your Batkind, just in case.

There’s more of the weird black stuff in the kitchen, along with some white dust. Your bro is nowhere to be seen. You really hope he’s okay.

⇒ Inspect black liquid

It’s not thick enough to be some kind of weird alien blood, which is both relieving and disappointing. Now that you look closely, though, it glows a bit. It’s actually a really dark blue, and kind of starry. Liquid night?

You’ll figure this out later. SR is pestering you.

Didn’t he lose connection or something?

SR: hows it going?

HP: didnt u lose wifi or somethin?

SR: i said i probably would lose wifi sometime soon, because the huge storm and possible power outage.

HP: kk

HP: can u drag over my bros car

HP: i wanna see if my server copys there

SR: it’s out of my range. move closer.

You run over to the direction of the driveway.

SR: can i take it to the roof?

HP: sure whatevs

You see SR lifting the car to the roof, when the cursor disappears and the car crashes through the roof.

HP: dude!!!

\-- socialistRicelord [SR] has lost connection!--

What are you to do now? You’re in your house in some weird place, and somebody or thing is in your house. Bro is nowhere to be seen and you need to Alchemize-

Oh right. You should probably alchemize some cool weapons.

⇒ Alchemize some shit

But how do you Alchemize shit? Don’t you need to have punched cards or something?

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU GOING TO DO????

HP: sr

HP: get back here dude

HP: pls

HP: imma do a pirouette off the fucking handle at this rate

HP: help

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ditto with this dude here, if you like it leave some appreciation please

**Author's Note:**

> Is it too fast paced? Too weird? Did you have to google some stuff? Tell me.  
> Please leave a kudo and/or comment if you like it <>


End file.
